Evening Star
by BringerOfJoy
Summary: My first attempt at a Bond/Vesper story. Goes on eight years after the events in Casino Royale that lead to the end of their romance. Against all odds his star was right here next to him and the loneliness was no more...
1. Chapter 1

The sound of the cartoons in the background were all she could hear besides the occasional laughter or sound of toys falling and crashing. As she sat on her desk, locked away in her study for the fourth hour straight, her back ached and the side of her head throbbed from the stress and the intense glare of the computer screen before her. She sighed and leaned back onto the softness of the leather and played with the pages of her post-it pad. Among some forgotten phone numbers and note-to-selfs, there were little drawings and scribbles from her daughter. She smiled.

Every ten or so minutes Heloise would purposefully pass by her door pretending to head to the bathroom or the bedrooms... She knew better. It was a perfectly fine Saturday evening and they were both locked up in this apartment. It was mid-October and the leaves were reddened and bountiful on the ground. Her favorite season... probably because there was always the promise of rebirth in spring. Rebirth was a thing she'd grown good at.

Heloise had been born on a rainy spring day, tiny, premature and sent straight to the neo-natal intensive care unit. They had practically lived in the hospital for two months, but it had been worth it. Four-years-old and she was the brightest, healthiest little girl. She also had the tendency to fifty per cent of the time drive her mum mad. But a mother's love was a funny, limitless thing...

…

They sat by the window at the back of the café, having just left the theatre across the street. Heloise drew on the paper tablecloth as she on the other hand people-watched, deep in her thoughts. At the corner of her eyes she spotted the silver flash of his car and smiled slightly to herself. It had taken her almost two years to woo him with that tremendous ego of his. Another worthy sacrifice as she'd never felt so... content. It felt good to be loved and to make love. It felt good to have a home and something that resembled a family. It felt good to have James again. It was good to have her life.

…

She sat between his legs on the bed, back leaning on his chest and her head buried in the curve of his neck. He smelled of scotch, leather and something spicy, yet fresh. She couldn't name it, the scent, but it made her feel warm and utterly attracted to him. He was half-asleep, just arriving from Honduras, a relatively smooth mission, but that had left a deep and painful gash on his right leg. He'd kissed Heloise as he always did at the café, tickling her on the side and sat across from her mother without so much as a kiss or touch. He wasn't too keen on publicizing their affair, especially in front of the child—but in bed, at night, they made up for all of those agonizing hours of distance.

"You're awfully quiet today... not even judgy." He mumbled, caressing her arm and dotting her shoulder with light kisses.

"I'm tired, worked on the progress reports all day and the house was a mess..." She sighed. It was difficult having to do it all alone most of the time. These were the woes of being deeply in love with an agent, the woes of a supposedly single, working mother. The never-ending worry and stress. She worried he wouldn't return home one day.

Heloise would ask about his scars... Especially the perfectly round one right on his heart. She counted. He always would tell it was a birth mark, but the little girl knew better. Every month James showed up with some new, even if minor injury. A scratch, a scraped elbow, a split lip or a purple bruise on his side.

"_My James works on a quidditch field."_ The little one would always say.

They laughed because it would be interesting to fight terrorists perched on brooms. Deep down they were both always afraid, praying to someone, something out there to protect him. Them. They were both orphans and they wouldn't allow for Heloise to suffer without her mother or her James. He loved the little girl—and she wasn't even his. She saw it in his violet-blue eyes. She loved him even more for it. Heloise had chosen him, there was no other explanation for it.

"They want me to begin thinking of retirement. Apparently no double-o has ever survived passed his fifties..." His voice trailed off unemotionally.

"Do you want to?"

"There's nothing else I know how to do. And there's you and the girl..." He trailed off, staring off at the wall instead of facing her questioning gaze.

"I'm sure your retirement will be generous..." She sat up facing him and held his chin so he'd look at her. "But that's not what bothers you."

"Of course I'll miss it. The adrenaline, the lack of a routine... feeling useful." She nodded in understanding.

"I see. It's your decision James..."

"Except it's not anymore, Vesper. It's ours... and their's."

"You know how I feel about your mission, the constant risks to your life and the consequences it can bring to all three of us—but I want you to be happy and not feel like any of this is a duty. I want you to know you always have a choice." He was silent, just staring into her eyes for a long moment, until she pulled him into her arms and let him be comforted on her shoulder. She loved how his armour was off again. Hers was too.

…

As they lay in the dark, neither one actually sleeping, they heard the door softly open and the light from the hall invade the room. A small little thing quickly made her way onto the bed in between them. Turning towards the much older man she tapped his shoulder gently. She smelled of lavender and was all dark curls, softness and baby powder. He pretended to be asleep.

"James?" She whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Happy father's day."

"It was in June..." He retorted, half-asleep.

"You're my dad _everyday_. Deal?"

"Deal." Was the reply as he wrapped his arm around her little frame and already knew what his decision would be.

…

He had to admit he was tired. He had to admit that he had reasons to stay at home. Bond was no longer lonely, depending only on Her Majesty's secret service to feel needed and belonging to something. He had Heloise and he had Vesper—the mysterious, alluring, loving one who had returned from the dead. Their relationship was a peculiar one.

Wives and husbands were always known to live in love/hate situations. He and Vesper lived in love. The hate had stayed in the past, along with those feelings of betrayal, disbelief and anger—It was a huge waste of time. It had taken them two years to reconcile. He had been resistant, with reason, to fall into her web again. She was different than the Vesper he'd met eight years ago... Sometimes he did not recognize her. Vesper's clothes were different, her manneurisms had changed. That mischievous glimmer in her eyes had disappeared. She was a mother and her hair wasn't always so impeccable.

The Vesper he knew and was with now was perhaps more compatible to him, but at the same time they clashed in any ways. She had that elegant, bourgeois way about her and he was just a Scottish gruff. She played the piano and cooked things life boeuf bourguignon. He knew just about everything of weapons, self-defense and football. She loved Russian literature and devoured Garcia Marquez and Isabel Allende's books. He read the newspaper and books about birds just because they were a great distraction from the everyday violence. Vesper had even presented him with a book by an ornithologist of the same name as he.

She had her reasons for having stayed away so long and everyday his understanding of the anguish and the guilt she still felt heightened. He should've always known that evening stars are relentless little things. They don't seem present during the day and sometimes you forget about them as the Earth orbits around the sun, time passes and people tend to ilude themselves. At night the stars always return. Sparkly, distant, contrasting in the dark horizon. You see them and then you don't feel so alone anymore. Against all odds his star was right here next to him. Against all odds she'd survived in Venice and returned to London to be with him. She loved him and he loved her too.

The next morning he called M.


	2. Of Egypt, Jagger and Marias

**A/N: Than****k you to Moon and Anonymous for the lovely and empowering reviews! Here's a little sneak-peek of our favorite tragic couple's family and love life.**

**Love,**

**Bea**

…

She sat on the table, head resting on her forearm, watching him as he adventured himself into the kitchen, constantly asking her where each item was. She would laugh and tease him and he would scoul, but tease her back.

"Where's the black pepper?"

"On the shelf next to the stove with all the other seasonings—I do hope this turns out good, I'm about to call and order some Chinese..."

"For such an elegant and sophisticated woman you sure eat a lot of rubbish." He replied and she bobbed her head mocking him.

"Elegant and rich sophisticated women have a battalion of cooks and cleaners for them. It's all very futile. I went to college with a lady called Valerie, her father was a banker and her mother a heiress of sorts—she knew how to do just about nothing. What's the point of having all of _that_, when in the end you're uncapable of even caring for yourself? Valerie couldn't make her bed to save her life."

"And what made you different?"

"I was never rich for one, more like the impoverished granddaughter of an old count who's mother killed herself and who's dad ran off with a pretty, blonde thing and pockets full of money." Vesper ran her hands through her long dark hair, as she always did when anxious and continued:

"I'm not any better, mind you, but early off I had to fend for myself, make sure there was food to eat, the house was tidy—I had no one to punish me or send me to bed on time, ask how things were going in school. I raised myself James and that's the main difference between all of those other women. I worked hard to earn all that I have today."

James nodded. It wasn't always that she'd willingly share with him aspects of her early life. Nor did he for that matter. Vesper's life was divided by before Venice and after Venice. So was his.

"Did you always want to be an accountant?" He asked with a smug grin.

Vesper smiled knowingly. James would always, always tease her for having such a _dull_ job, when he had the most exciting one _ever_.

"No. No, I wanted to be an Egyptologist... Ever since I first went to Egypt at age seven with my mother."

"Where'd that go wrong?" He asked surprised, pulling out a chair and sitting in front of her. Vesper smiled slightly.

"I began working at a bookshop, doing the numbers. One thing led to the other and I ended up in business school rather than in the History department of Oxford University. I guess I was a bit of a coward, afraid I wouldn't succeed. Also, the numbers became a sort of consolation—they're exact and never-changing. My life was such madness... I wanted stability. Or the illusion of it."

James nodded and patted her shoulder.

"All right, Cleopatra, it's your turn now... go do the dishes."

…

That night after dinner, James tucked Heloise in bed and read her Asterix and Obelix in French. Vesper was always insisting they maintaned as best as they could the French language and culture in their home, since they wouldn't be returning to Paris anytime soon. So he read to the little girl as best as he could to impress her and she would point out to him whenever he pronounced anything wrong. God forbid that Vesper would see and tease him about it.

"_Papa_?"

"_Oui_, little bird?" He would call her just as his mother used to call him. It seemed right since now he had been upgraded to father status.

"Your French isn't very _good_, but I think it's enough for us to go visit _maman_'s _grandpère au Paris._"

"Do you miss him?" Heloise shook her head solemnly.

"No, but I had a dream with him—he's not doing very well." James nodded.

"We can call to check in tomorrow, now it's late and he's probably asleep." Heloise nodded and James leaned in to kiss her on the forhead. "Goodnight, love."

"G'night, dad."

…

Vesper left early in the morning for work, she had an important presentation and a meeting with her boss afterwards. For a few months now she'd been striving for the post of treasurer-in-chief of wherever it was she worked. James knew nothing of accountance and job posts and if it weren't for his beloved, would care even less. They didn't need the money or the security, but it seemed she was the one who needed it for her own self-esteem, as a professional. And so he supported her as best as he could manage. He prepared Heloise for school and walked her there himself.

It was his second week as a retired agent, but still felt like compulsory vacations. There had been a special farewell dinner including Mallory and his closest co-workers. Vesper refused to go, still stigmatized by her past as a double-agent. She was the only one punishing herself, James had pointed out at the time. He did however prefer to let it go, if it was obviously still painful to Vesper, better leave it.

He'd began joining the gym so he wouldn't become so weak and lazy which was very unmanly in his point-of-view. After gym he would run errands, pay the bills, go shopping for the house and wander around the city, until it was time again to fetch Heloise from school and go home. The days passed by slowly, but the nights at their apartment were mostly eventful. Not just the sex which was also very good, but now he found he loved movies and would insist on watching one with Vesper at least twice a weak.

She would always complain that it was a huge waste of time, but she did look forward to the old Hollywood films, especially the ones with Liz Taylor. He on the other hand felt like a young boy all over again, watching cowboy films that bore her to death and commenting exclusively on the poor choice in firearms and ammunition. Also the aims were all wrong... He loved space films and shared with her on a particularly warm night that he would've loved to be an astronaut.

"Yet you became a naval officer?" James shrugged.

"As the philosopher Jagger once said, you can't always get what you want." Vesper would smile and say nothing.

James didn't comment, but he was sure she had no idea what or who Jagger was. On the other hand she knew just about everything of classical music and opera. Apparently her favorites were the great Russian composers and her opera tastes usually favored Italian Belcanto—_Aïda, Norma, La Traviata_. She was the biggest fan of a dead woman he'd ever met.

"If we ever have another daughter, I don't care what you say, we're not naming her Maria Callas or Callas or Maria." Vesper would glare at him, "You lost your shot with Heloise."

"I named her after my mum!" James would shrug her off and Vesper would turn on her side in bed and ignore him for the rest of the night.

…

"Do you think this means we want a second child?" He inquired the following morning as she was still half-asleep.

"James, it's six in the _damn_ morning!" She would curse him with a string of French swear words and then sigh, turning to face him with solemnly, "If you'll be the one to carry it for nine months, sure." And he would feel completely emasculated and mortified.

Vesper would giggle until she turned red, at his expression of pure horror and he would glare at her as intensely as he could.

Finally, she added, "_Ask _Google."

James frowned at her constant teasing and would go straight for the shower.


	3. What's in a phone?

He watched as her face changed from anxiety, to fear, to regret and then to pain. As she slowly put down the phone, her face pale and eyes watery, he was certain something serious had happened.

"What is it?"

She didn't answer. Her face had paled and her eyes were full of emotion—of confusion and maybe even some tears. She rarely cried and he hated seeing her this way, ever since that bathroom in Hotel Splendide all those years ago—nearly a decade. He didn't push.

Vesper slowly sat on the far corner of their sofa with her head in her hands. They were shaking profusely. He walked inside the kitchen and quickly put on some tea in the electric kettle. Things of the past always took longer nights. Five minutes and he was pouring chamomile tea in her favorite red mug. It took him another two minutes to get to her. It had slowly gotten dark and he turned on the lights.

"Here, drink. It'll help you calm down." Vesper looked up, extending her hands to accept it, failing in giving him a reassuring smile.

"We should've called earlier, when Heloise had asked us to. It's too late James, my grandfather is dead. He's dead," she sighed and took a sip of her drink. "I didn't even get to tell him how much I despised him, how much of a burden he was to me growing up. Ask him why he never liked me, supported me, why he was never a loving grandfather. Is it possible to hate and crave someone's love so intensely?"

"Yes—that just sums up what I felt for you." Vesper made a face.

"Well that's different, you thought I was dead."

"Well, even before that." She stared at him with a gaze of pure contempt and for a moment there he thought she'd go crazy like women usually do. But Vesper simply snorted and laughed.

"You snorted."

"Stop—I was crying it was an accident."

"You snorted and you're not going to live a day without me reminding you." She smiled, but tried to hide it by biting her lips. Her cheeks were red and her eyes were swollen.

"Yeah well, that face you made. You'd think a grown man, a former MI6 agent would be less afraid of a woman's glare."

"Not any woman's, yours." She arched a brow. "You'll never know why."

"Hmph. I'll need to go to Paris for this. I need to tend to his funeral—and the family affairs. Not that there is any family aside from us left."

…

He carried Heloise as they both waved off Vesper, dressed head-to-toe in black, who after kissing them both, crossed the glass barrier to await for her plane. She'd be gone a week. And he was alone with her daughter for seven days. This certainly was a novelty.

…

The first day had gone normally, once they arived from the airport, she went straight to the television watch _Peppa Pig_, while he prepared them some turkey sandwiches and salad for lunch. Afterwards she had her nap on the sofa and he managed to get the kitchen clean. Afterwards, he took a shower while she played in her room and in no time they were off to the park.

Stella was at the park. Stella was a good friend of James by now—probably because he was always at the park these days, jogging, watching Heloise play, shortcutting from the apartment to the shops and bank. He was still behind on the whole internet banking thing.

"Hello James, hello Heloise!" She greeted with a kind smile. Behind her, Violet and Charlie, her children played.

"Hi, Mrs. Stella!" And that was all she got from Heloise as the girl ran off to meet her friends.

"Well you look awfully tired..." She pointed out as they sat on the park bench.

"The mum's away, her grandfather died."

"I'm sorry to hear. Are things all right?" He nodded. "Their dad and I broke up?" This caught James' attention.

"Took long enough. I told you before, Stella, you're to brilliant and too much of a great person to be with such a git. I can't believe you let him and his family massacrate you for so long..."

"Well, hope is the last that dies, James. I guess it took me time to realize that the hope that matters wasn't the hope of him changing and defending me for once, but hope in myself. I left my home, my parents in Canada. I quit my job to dedicate myself to him and our kids—I mean, when can I get something for myself for once?"

"And?"

"I start work at a publicity company next week." She had a broad smile on her lips.

"Vi, will love to hear that." To everyone outside of their home, Vesper was Vi and sometimes Vivian. "And the children stay with you?"

"For the time being. He's convinced he can win custody over me on trial..."

"He won't, because the children know what they want and they want their mother." Stella nodded. Her brown eyes were still sad though and her golden hair were up in a messy bun. She didn't look too good—more like she hadn't slept all week. "Listen, if you need an-"

"I'm pregnant." Stella blurted out, interrupting him and leaving him flabbergasted.

"It's his?" Stella shook her head.

"I took a few liberties with his cousin." James arched a brow in surprise. "I don't know what to do. I can't have another baby when I'm just getting back into the market! Besides, this'll totally go against me in court and-"

"I think you should talk this out with my wife." Stella stared at him blankly for a moment. He was red and strange. Very different from his usually rigid and detached ways.

"You're so strange..." James just watched the children play in silence for the rest of the time.

…

"So Stella's pregnant? James Bond, who knew you to be a girl-talker? I think there's a repressed gay man inside of you!" James huffed in annoyance at Vesper's teasing over the phone. "Stop that! It's bad enough that you're not here..." There was a long moment of silence. He heard shuffling on the other side.

"We buried him this morning. Tomorrow after lunch we'll be meeting with the lawyer and personal accountant to read the will-"

"We? Who else will be there?"

"Oh, I don't know, my father who I haven't seen in over thirty years and his wife."

"Do you need-"

"No, no. Stay there with Heloise, this is no environment for a child. If anything happens you'll be the first to know."

"Hm. And how do you feel?"

"I could be better—it's just, this horrible, enormous house! It brings back so many memories, the good and the bad. Honestly, James, I've been entertaining myself with the bad ones for so long, to convince myself that they were horrible, that they were villains—the happy ones just make me miserable."

Another long silence.

"What're you wearing?"

**Thank you everyone for the lovely reviews, completely took me by surprise! I'm sorry for the long delay, and for the rather shortness of this chapter (that is very essential to what comes next!), things have been hectic in college and here at home, as I'm helping my dad out, while he's recovering from heart surgery. :)**

**Please continue to review and share with me your thoughts and criticisms!**

**Love,**

**Bea**


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